My last exam is tomorow and I am excited yet stressed to say the least. I am anxiously awaiting. After studying the majority of the evening I am hoping and praying I will be sucessfull in Church History, the course that has been causing me a rock road on numerous occasions. I am anxiously looking forward also to traveling back home for the summer.

To Clear the Air:

Church membership is vital to me since it is what we as Christians are called to do. We are called to be active participants within the body and this is an area were I refuse to be passive. Furthermore, concerning the previously talked about situation. I am not bitter about leaving "that" Ontario church my dear brother. I admit I was at some point in time, yet durring this past year have discouvered that bitterness only harbours thoughts and thoughts only remind me of the issue that I want nothing to do with. I admit, I still do feel hurt, hurt at the fact that still few (including pastoral team) have yet to speak about this issue directly or indirectly to me, members in the church are filled with a warped sense of the situation, and my name has been slightly tarnished. I wont let that become apart of me. Yes that is a situation I had to walk (alone with God) through, yet it will only enhance my relational ministry not hinder. It is these situations that have made my ministry stronger and I refuse to let it get the best of me or my time to worry about it.

I hope to see you all (Ontario) friends shortly and will try to update you on my journey throughout the trip. I leave Sunday morning, pray for safe travels.
God Speed!
Simon Out!

My last day officially at Millwoods, was one of deep seeded sorrow and a heavy heart. Knowing that my summer will be swarmed and swamped with spending time with Jacquie and her family exites me, yet a piece of me will be left behind. Never before have I gone through this much internal anguish and sorrow for leaving (even my own youth group back home). The difference is that Millwoods is the sole demonstration of a comunity based relational church. Even though it is of great size, it births great comunity and fellowship as intended within and throughout the New Testament. Millwoods is where I will be calling home next year and hopefully doors within ministry will avail themselves and open, yet, I will plan on transfering membership to this church. Thanks to you all at Millwoods for wasting know time in making me feel like an intimate and integral part of your comunity. Many have opened their hearts and homes and I will never forget the legacy imprinted and impacting my ministry throughout the summer. You all have left foot prints on my heart and greater formed my ministry.

KEEP IN TOUCH
SIMON OUT!

The Passion of Preaching (The Rhyme Crime)
I need more sleep. I need to cut out the cocaine. It takes teamwork to make the dream work. A text without a context is a pretext. Emotion without devotion is just a bunch of commotion. Missions exists because worship doesn’t. That’ll preach. A mist in the pulpit will become a fog in the pew.

The
I need more sleep. I need to cut out the cocaine. It takes teamwork to make the dream work. A text without a context is a pretext. Emotion without devotion is just a bunch of commotion. Missions exists because worship doesn’t. That’ll preach. A mist in the pulpit will become a fog in the pew.

Simon Engaging in Relational Ministry

WOW, today I speak my first official sermon at Millwoods. Nervous would be an understatement. Confident would be an overstatement. I am proud and bewildered why God would use a guy like me, broken, and destroyed. However, I am blessed because not only does my Redeemer live, but he has brought me to the point in life where I am at now. Reflecting on my past, it is becoming clearer that Apart from Christ I can do nothing. I was blown away by a Ruth Graham quote from one of her books, "Everyone sitting in a pew is either, broken hearted, will be broken hearted, or has been broken hearted in the past." This further demonstrates the need for intamite relational ministry in terms of my youth gifting. I firmly believe that Christ has called me for such a time as this.

Lord... Help me to humbly walking with you on this road called life as I venture into ministry. Fill me with Boldness and reverence for your word. Help me to be real to the youth I minister and interact with. Lord, hold my hand when I am nervous steady my knees when I am scared so I may convey your message clearly as you would have me.

Is the life I am calling others to live the life I myself am living? I would like to think so. I am speaking on yielding to Christ and today, I took the time out of my busy homework schedule to do just that. I stoped, went to the prayer room, and let God wrap his embracing comfurt arround me. God is good.
Simon Out!

What a glorious day free from the bondage of class, yet still whallowing in some unfinished assignments I am very sure that they will be left for the last minute or pushed as far back as possible. Coming up to the end does not leave a vast space of time, so I will need to get my keester moving.
...to be continued (duh da duh)

CELEBRATE!
Firstly, let me say I am a blogaholic now. Be warned and try to keep up friends if you dare. I hope to be pushing some buttons and leveling out a rocky field of uncertanty in terms of future blogs.

SECONDLY
A dear and close friend of mine has had a financial miracle. She goes to Bible College with me and has had a significant debt load taken care of by an act of God. I think we need to thank God for this one and celebrate with our dear friend. The name is not important (confidentitality) but lets just be glad that we serve a God that is not dead, made out of wood, or lacks the passion to respond to the needs of His people. God is great. Why do we live our lives in fear of men? Why do we fail to share miracles with people for fear of how the percieve us. It is not us they percieve it is God. I have grown and come to the conclusion that my life means nothing amidst the grand scheme of life. I will go the extra mile, dispite hurdles and subsequent dangers that may be in my midst. God desirves our limited and frail boldness and by the Spirit we will be made strong.

Lord, Help us to walk in humility, empowered by boldness, drawn by your passion, to accomplish greater things then in days of past. Lord, help us to walk a path of purity in a world tainted by death and sin. As I strive for more of a relational ministry, let me not miss the oppourtunities to celebrate and revel in the Glory of your miracles, big or small (in humanly eyes).

Many have comented on my site and the insights I put forth. My brother for one, and countless students, firends, and family alike all further thier amazement. Maybe I am being moody or cynical right now, but I fear the day were pastors in training are amazing people for their coments and insights. Do I really amaze people? I think it should be an expectation that people especially pastors to be in tune with the world, politics, culture, biblical values, and all out socical concerns. It is scary when people are amazed at an insigh offered. Perhaps I need to make myself more clear. I find it interesting how people will be shocked at a person such as myself making judgements on social concerns. I believe that in order for a pastor to be effective he/she must make these calls. I think the better way of phrasing this would be I am surprised at the level of insight one posesses, rather then I am surprise one has insight. Insight is expected in this line of work. The more I remain in Bible College the more I am taken a back and shocked at the poor quality that is being produced. I pray that our church furture does not repeat our history.

Do not worry, I am not upset at any of these coments, "just surprised" they would come from you guys. Sersiously though, I am not, this is not a vent either, this is mearly an issue I was contemplating...

My diddle about the insuing troble in Iran!

While breaking my diet promise for my month treat of McDonalds, I read some compelling articles concerning relations with Iran and the possibility of the development of weapons. Is this another fear tactic? I think not. Iran has been a shady character on the world scene long before they uttered threats of destruction on Israel. I have really been wrestling with this concept of war. Should Christians join, or support, or accept war as a possibility in situations such as these. These are my ramblings on such a controversial issue.
Was can be view as ordained by God throughout the Old Testament of the Bible durring political unrest, teritories and parties that went agains the call and will of God, and rulers that were not walking under the direction of God. Furthermore, people throughout the Bible were sent out to kill and demolish cities. It is my belief that in some instances wars may be justified. I will not comment on specific wars or instances that I feel are justified because I feel my opinion holds little wieght in light of things. I do believe that in this specific Iran situation options need to be exercised before I can support a war. How about cutting off all trade with Iran? Countries opposed to the position of the Iranian government might or should try this before wars an option. If Iran still refuses to budge, it is my belief that one must fight for the saftey of many. Is this a contradiction to a Christians beliefs? I think not. I believe that Christian's ought to be peace lovers but not a religion that lets other nations take advantage of us so blantenly and openly. Taking advantage by manipulating the world, holding us hostage, and holding the upper hand. Evil will not prevail and Good must take a stand against evil.
We cant let things sort themselves out in the name of peace. There is a time for everything and everything does have a season. I am litterally sick of Christians having the mentality of peace no matter what. Its true I believe that peace is our goal, yet we must not live under a wave of evil. We must not get consumed by a warped post modernist view of a "Hippy like Christianity"?
Is my thinking wrong? Did not Holy wars occur? I am not supporting or deeming any wars as holy or deemed rightious in God's eyes thats not my call. I am just posing the idea that there is more than just accepting every blow by the enemy. At some time we as Christians are called to action.
AM I NUTS?

Simon Out!

Well, as I sit here in my Pentateuch class I feel drained of all energy. I feel like a diesile vehicle that has run clear out of fuel and has to be purged before it can start again...wait, thats not a good one. I feel like when you clean out your couch, remove the cushions, and find food particles like raisins; except, you discover you hate raisins and never bought them let alone eat them on your new coach, well I am that grape (the grape that shriviled into a raisin). I appologize for you readers that have made it this far in my blog.

On the upswing, I did start my assignement today that was due some time ago, however it is for proffesor fawcet so I hope he will, "Love me on this one." It is drawing nearer and closer to my departurer here and had quite the "U-HAUL" insident;
I went into a U-haul store since they rent pickups for cheap. So I go in and explain my situation to the worker behind the desk. It went something like this: "Hey, I am looking to rent one of your pick-ups for like a day.... (silence and glares)......um, yea because I need it to tow a tiny trailer I have up to camrose." His responce was less then promising, "Sir you can not tow anything with our pickups, they were not designed for towing, it can't be done". With a mild feeling of rejectiong I pointed out that these trucks do have hitches and what was the purpose if they were not ment for towing. He replied, "Sir, they are they because we tow stuff with them not you arround our lot," in a snarly way. My responce was simply this, "Ok, um say I needed one just for moving boxes." Looking dead in my face (looking through my intension), "So your saying you dont need to tow anything?" I said, "yes, I remebered I dont need to tow it." Looking at me intently he realized that I had won this round. Looking defeated he quote me a price. Saying, "thank you," I walked out the door with his creepy eyes glaring intently and hinting defeat. This was my U-haul expierience.

Later in the evening, after youth small groups, we went out to RED ROBYNS again (my favoritie restaurant). We had a great time with implications and Bible College humour that implied some interesting thoughts. Imaturaity is fun for a season!

Simon Out!

Well, it sure has been a significant amount of time which has passed wince my last rambling, so I think it is high time for some updating.
My Easter weekend was somewhat relaxing. I was afforded the oppurtunity to try out some red necking as I call it out in Camrose an hour from Edmonton at my cousins farm, as per their absence from the property due to visiting their son. I had a terrific time with the dogs, a couple hundred cows, a peacock, some rabits, a cat, and a copious amount of birds of every sort.
I spent the evening basking in the glory of the sweet refreshing tide of the outdoor hot tub overlooking the expanse of fields peppered with cows of every sort. It was very relaxing. Easter Sunday I had an invite after church in Edmonton to go out with my Uncle Wes and his family to a very high class upscale country club for an exclusive seafood brunch which had every known food known to man there. The contrast hit me on my way into work later that evening on how different the weekend was.
This weekend we got a new kid at our house and conected well with him. He is significantly shy, nervous, and timid, as it is his first time "in care" at a group home. He has been bounced arround from foster home to foster home since he was young and surprisingly has been of outstanding behaviour durring this time. However, he got caught up in the wrong crowd and did some things that were less then par. As we attempt to mend relationships both past and pressent on his road to reconciliation with his foster family, pray that he may come to some understanding of the love of Christ through my interactions with him.

School, meh, still beind, still have little motivation, still longing for the rapture.
Simon Out.

Real Time Works Better
(This Morning)
As I bolted out of bed I looked at my alarm clock after it had gone off for probably the twentyith time and almost had a mild coranary. My shock was that I had only 5 minutes to take a shower and get to class. I bolted out of bed like a lama accross the tundra plains of wherever they are naturally from. Upon barely getting wet from my shower I proceeded to put my watch on and realize the real time. I did not have 5 minutes but rather 50 minutes to get to school. I thought this was odd and then reflected on the fact that my bedroom window emitted no light, my room mate was still snoring, and my room was lacking the morning fog (from when I wake up and the sun beats in). I think from now on, we will double check the correct time, by "we" I mean, myself.

Yesterday,
Filled with a gigantic wave of worry, I continued to plug away at my sermon. I was completely lost. When I thought I was done, I got my brother, my editer, to review my biblical stance on my sermon and all around tone. He is the best criticue and says it like it is. To my horror his comments were less then uplifting and rather harsh. How could this be? Its almost as if God gave me a divine slap, one of those kinds where you see in the movie, you know; "Pull yourself together man." I started over with new insight and input from others. I finished 4 hours later with roughly the same message but conveyed in a positive and uplifting mannor that quiclky met my brothers approval. For some reason this message was really tough for me to write. Perhaps it is because there is a lot at stake, or maybe even more true, God's teaching me to listen to his words and practice what I preach before it is preached.

God,
Teach me to listen to your voice and may the life I am calling others to live the life that I myself am living. Keep me accountable, filled with integrity, and rooted in passion for your kids, your youth, your warriors. Let peace like a river flood my soul and may your peace encompass my heart as I preach my sermon.

Well, in all the areas I am slacking in, I never once thought it would be my blog. My mind is always filled with stuff and has been building up ever since I failed to write since Friday...whatever shall I do. Well, if being behind in my blog is the bigest of my procrastinations then I would be in a good space; however, I am behind in school and really ought to charm my professors into extensions (just kidding, no extensions yet).

The weekend involved strenuous work at the group home being Mr. Fix it for all the weeks broken down things including the eves trough that fell down, filling titanic size wholes in dry walls (I swear it has a magnetic pull, pulling the kids into the wall), fixing the barbeque and almost blowing up, and finally fixing a couch one of the kids tryed to run threw it on the way to dinner.

Monday (yesterday), I had a delightful meeting with Kathy (I am not saying that because I know she will read this) but rather, because after meeting with Kathy over coffee I feel all the built up worries are removed from my mind and cares. Kathy is the voice of reason in my life, since my mind is void of this voice. I left feeling refreshed and less worried about the message I will be speaking at a local church youth group.

After the meeting with Kathy, I left to go to Millwoods Church Ester Musical. To my surprise they had a real live camel and donkey and chickens and lambs. You may think thats a lot of ands in that scentence but I think that is alot of animals. Nevertheless it was a fantastic play. We went out afterwards to my favorite restaurant in the world 'Red Robins' and had my favorite burger the Whiskey River Beef Burger. The waitress was not feeling my jokes and humour were funny since she glared at me when I told her to make it extra beefy. Her responce was, "Do you really want an extra paddy, because that costs extra?" So I drove home from there listening to Jason Upton's (worship guy) song "fly". This has taught me to meditate on the Glory of God and I, for the first time felt All stress leave and thought God is the only thing that matters.

Picture of the week: Simon Casterating a Baby Calf. This photo I feel sums up my Alberta experiance and makes me laugh which is what I needed yesterday for my stressed out day.

I survived work. Being all by myself surrounded by 7 high needs and high risk youth is not my idea of a walk in the park. It was days like yesterday, when financial componsation at work seems increasingly petty and insignificant and survival at work takes over. I only had one kid out of seven totally blow up on me which was not that bad. It was a wierd feeling however not feeling supported and being totally isolated from help. It was not that bad, I am a man, or should I say I am "The Man" and was able to handle this situation. It reminded me of our Ontario Child Welfare System where it is not uncommon to have single staff agencies, those up and coming low budget agencies.

Don't Judge!
I got one of my assignments done last night. I took a caffeen pill yesterday because the taste of coffess is mildly gross and the need to complete work surpassed the need for sleep. Bad move I found out later after I breezed through my homework I found myself wide eyed and in bed talk to my roomie Dave. We have great conversations that usually end in mindless thoughts and my internal dialogue expressed outwardly.

Well, I am as giddy as a school girl because today is Friday. Youth is tonight and I am always exited for that. I am feeling a lack of motivation in the area of accedemics and really find myself not caring about school. Oh well, I miss home and thats all there is to it. Anyway I am running out of steem and stuff to write about. Take Care all you readers. Give me advice on what subject to write about. Are you all that interested in my life?

Work work work, I am still not done all of my assignments for school and a slew more are on their way for next week. I am longing for Ontario summer breezes and days at the cottage. I am actually looking forward to working at the summer job at the family insurance restoration business. I am just overwhelmed. On top of all my assignments, work is having staffing issues and turns out I will be the only one on shift this evening with 7 troubled youth. If that is not a insurmountable task, I dont know what is. So hopefull everything will go smoothly.
I also was able to talk to Deb and arrange my hair cut for Saturday before work. I am scared about that one.
Yesterday, work was swell. Nothing really notable to write about. The overwhelm train derailed at noon yesterday. (ha ha I like that one)

I look forward to the day when I can pack up all my junk and belongings and drive accross Canada to meet my family, friends, and fiancee. Here (on the right) is just one photo of what I leave behind. A tiny bit of me will miss this place.

Simon Out!

Yesterday seemed to have flown by. I had nothing to do after school and thought it would be great to catch up on all my homework; however, I failed to do so. The amazing whether and sunny world outside provoked and beckoned me to was my car. So, four hours of washing led to youth group, which then led to going to Red Robyns (The best restaurant for beef burgers in the world), led to bed time. It feels like I did absolutely nothing and in retrospect regret wasting that time, however, I enjoyed it. I have come to the conclusion that nothing can be good at times.

Tonight I have to work which blows because I was scheduled for a free haircut from a Loreal hair care professional that goes to my church (the same lady that hooked me up with the pedicure, Deb). So I have to phone in to work and phone arround to see if I can get someone to work for me. We will see. Wish me luck, I really want that hair cut. I am laughing at how stupid this sounds.

Simon Out!

I had the honor to go to a pedicure as a foot model for beutician school. Deb, a fantastic lady from our church, active in the youth group, asked Jarren (a bible school friend and from church) and I to donate our feet for the cause of learning. It was a sacrifice we were both willing to make. The pedicure was great. One nervous student gingerly tried all these rubs and cutting techniques and assesments. It was great. I also discouvered problems I have with my feet. These "diagnose happy" studdents made me mildly depressed and feeling bad for myself; however, the free food and drinks eased that tension.

Later that evening at work I had the remarkable expeiriance to really connect with the new kid. After recieving a very depressing phone call from his mother concerning his situation, he broke down. He simply broke down in my arms, wanting nothing more than simply his broken family to be mended and for his folks to love him was incredably sad. We were really able to connect and he was able to realize his alcohol issues and his inability to stand up for peer pressure (seeking acceptance from anyone, if it would not come from his family). After having a day like this I realize that I am doing the right thing for this season of my life.

It is small groups tonight and I am very excited. The day seems to go faster knowing I have something to look forward to at the end of the day. Make no mistake, Youth are my passion. I am enjoying the idea of full time ministry.

Simon Out!

As my time here in Alberta and at Vanguard Bible College winds down for a semester, I am anxiously awaiting my trip by car back home, Hamilton Ontario. A part of me will be left behind here in this land of milk and honey, the land of 11% government rases and $400 rebate checks; I truly will miss this place.
I am also sad to leave Millwoods Penticostal Church here in Edmonton. I have grown fond of the youth and have been blown away by the hospitality I have recieved and felt with the youth, leaders, and adults alike. I hope to write more about this passion for youth throughout this blogue.
I think my brother got me into this and hopefully someone will gain intrest from this aswell.

Today:
I am sitting in my Pentateuch Class with my dear and favorite teacher. Hearing this husky man, with his medium pitched voice state, "Love me on this friends," just before you think he is making a controversial statement; then realizing he's conveying a basic point, cracks me every time. At the end of class, he also will stop mid scentence pack up his stuff in like 3 seconds and boot it for the door.
I have to work today and there is a new male youth there. On the weekend I was able to conect with him by bringing him to the movies, playing basketball, and talking about his family. My passion is for these kids, and maybe one day, resources and God willing, may be able to open my own Group Home. This is my dream, this is my passion. Anyway it is the morning so we will see how the rest of the day goes.

Simon Out!